Enough Already!

Enough with the parties. Enough with the Holidays. I'm over it. Let's get back to Bizness here!!

As part of my job, I often have to attend community meetings to prepare people for a future development that's going to happen near their neighborhoods. I also go to County planning board meetings, commission meetings, etc. I am constantly astounded at some of the ridiculous things people say at these meetings. I understand that no one wants new homes or commercial buildings built around them - I sympathise with them because I've been there as a homeowner - and the majority have well thought out, logical arguments. But let's face it - development is a way of life. It HAS to happen. And it doesn't matter where you live - the people that were there first didn't want your house built. It's universal. Complain all you want, but you live in a house and a neighborhood that someone else found offensive. It sucks, but, there it is. Most reasonable people accept this and just want their concerns heard and want to work with Developers to ensure as minimal an impact as possible on their community. And most Developers WILL work with you and try to address your concerns as best they can. I'm not saying all Developers are angels - God knows there are crooked, dishonest people everywhere. But I can honestly say, 99.9% of the ones I have worked with will bend over backwards to work with you. Most people are satisfied with this - maybe not happy - but satisfied.

Others though- WHEW!!! Some people won't be satisfied no matter what you do or how hard you try.

Some of the more interesting comments I've heard over the years:


When discussing the approval of a gated active adult community (55+ years of age)..

President of the Commission: "I don't think it's right to round up the old people and put them behind bars".

Um, seriously? Someone actually voted for you? We aren't trying to keep them locked in - they're trying to keep us out! They want some peace and quiet man! And it's not a requirement that you live there if you're over 55. We aren't going to come around and check everyone's age. "Oops, sorry pops - you're 56 - that's too old to be out in the community - you got to GO. Get in the bus. We'll take you to your new home. Behind the gate. You can never leave. Life as you know it is over (insert evil laugh here)." Jeesh!

During various meetings with NIMBYs....

Concerned citizen: "I don't want you to build more houses because it's not safe for my children to play in the street with all this increased traffic."

Well, no shit Sherlock. Playing in traffic is DANGEROUS. Have you thought about - perhaps - making them play in the yard with adult supervision? I'm just sayin'....

Concerned citizen #2: "I go a'shootin in my back yard. If you build those houses and there's kids playing and they get shot, well, it's not my fault"

Um, yeah, it kind of is. Because shooting someone is a FELONY you idiot. And why the hell are you shooting in the middle of suburbia? And why are your neighbors OK with this? Oh. Right. Thier kids are playing in traffic. It's all good.


Concerned Citizen #3: "Well, I moved here from North Dakota. I like wide open spaces. I didn't move here to be surrounded by houses"

Dude!! You moved to the Washington Metro area. You probably should have thought that out a little more.

Amazing. And always entertaining......


And while I'm listening to one or more of these diatribes, Brian is home with the girls, who get into our bed every night at 8 to watch television before they are officially made to go to bed. 9 times out of 10, they fall asleep in our bed and we have to transfer them to their own. So, Brian gets Sydney and makes the required "potty stop" before putting her in her own bed. She sits on the toilet, goes pee, and he tells her she has to wipe - which is something she DOES NOT like to do (why???? ewwwww.) She refuses. She's basically asleep sitting up. He tells her several more times. She gets down from the toilet. He sits her back on it and hands her some toilet paper. She makes a face, wipes...and promptly throws the dirty toilet paper at him, gets down, pulls her undies up and stomps off to bed.

It was at this point in the story where I burst into laughter and couldn't talk. (I'm so wrong. I was just glad she didn't do it to me!)

I asked him what he did. "What could I do? I was stunned. And actually I was laughing because she was half asleep."

So I told him what to do.

Next time - WIPE HER YOURSELF!!