Friday, September 12, 2008

Ten Years Later.....

Ten years ago today I married my one true love. I meant every word when I said my vows, and so did he.

It just took us a few years to really understand what those vows meant.

You can't understand "for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, in good times and in bad..." until you experience them. Only then can you truly comprehend what those vows mean.

The first few years of marriage were rough. We learned a lot - about each other, ourselves, and what it means to truly be married. At one point, our marriage was in trouble. It took a few days apart, wondering if we could make it work and doing a lot of soul searching for both of us to realize that we were soul mates - even with all our differences. I certainly wouldn't recommend it to others, but it helped us. And I can honestly say that we haven't had any major marital crises since then. Oh, we've had our fights, our arguments, and disagreements - our marriage is by no means perfect.

But now, we realize that marriage is full of ups and downs, there are good times and bad and not every argument, every disaster, every harsh word spoken in frustration or in anger is a reason to wonder if we'll make it or not. We are both committed to this marriage, to the family we have created and to each other - there is no doubt about that. And somehow, that makes it easier to roll my eyes and walk away when I think Brian's being unreasonable. It makes it easier for him to say "Yes, dear" and know that I'm wrong, but not push the issue so far that it turns into a major battle. Compromise baby, sometimes its all about compromise.

Right now, the world revolves around our kids. We are most definitely a united front where they are concerned and it's probably where we are the strongest and most like-minded. We have the same ideals and the same goals and hopes and dreams for our kids and very rarely disagree on anything relating to them.

Our children are our life....but, let's face it, eventually they will leave and start their own families and careers. And Brian and I will be left alone to spend the rest of our lives together. So the most important thing to us is to make sure that we keep that "husband and wife" connection. We can't forget that we need time as a couple to nurture our relationship as partners, lovers and friends. We don't always get that time, but it's something we strive for.

I feel secure. I feel loved. I know that he will be with me and stand by me and support me, come rain or come shine. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I have a husband that loves me unconditionally.

And one day, when our girls are older, I hope they look back on their childhood and remember mom and dad hugging each other, kissing each other, saying "I love you" and, rather than the "Ew! Stop kissing mommy all the time!" they say now, I hope they say "My mom and dad were in love with each other, were devoted to each other and that's the kind of marriage I want too."

Because my baby girls - you deserve the kind of man I married. There is no one better.

I started this story on a whim, because the girls are always asking me about how daddy and I met and what was it like when we got married. So I thought I'd write it all down as a "Fairy Tale" for them - and also to give to Brian to make him chuckle on our ten year anniversary =). But the story became more than a fairytale once I started and the past ten years just kind of spilled out.

So, now you know much more about my marriage than you ever wanted to know, I'm sure. Sorry about that!!

But I hope that someday my girls can read this and realize that life, marriage and family are not always perfect - in fact they almost never are. But I hope they also realize that sometimes you have to work hard for what you love and you shouldn't give up easily. The good things in life are worth working for...and I'm so glad Brian and I didn't give up on each other.

Happy tenth anniversary honey. I love you more now than I did ten years ago and I look forward to the rest of our lives together. We make an excellent team =)

All my love,


1 comment:

megan said...

That was a heart warming story Deb. Having been married for many years myself, I can relate to the ups and downs, the exciting and not so exciting times in a marriage.
Good luck to you and your lovely family.