Wednesday, June 24, 2009

King Midas I am not

Everything King Midas touched turned to gold.

Which is really, really cool.

Well, except when he like, touched his kids and stuff.

Then, not so much.

But, all in all, having things turn to gold under your fingertips is a pretty neat trick!

I have a trick too.

Everything I touch turns up broken.

Seriously - and I'm on a roll.

It's beginning to give me a complex. I'm lucky I have a handy hubby.

Let's see......

The first thing that happened was the giant boulder that came crashing into my windshield one night on the way home. It didn't put a hole through the glass (much to my surprise, since it sounded like a gunshot) but it did crack the glass in an almost perfect circle. I keep waiting for the circle in the middle to just fall out.

Not much I can do about it, except replace my windshield, which I would REALLY prefer to not do unless and until I absolutely have to. It's not cracking more - maybe I'll keep my little circle symbol for awhile without it getting worse? Who knows.

Luckily, I was paying attention to where I was going while pulling into the driveway with my cracked windshield, because the garage door wasn't opening. Usually, I hit the button as I turn into the driveway and the door is open by the time I get there, so I just roll on in!

This time I looked up to see that the door was still down and I gently hit the brakes, causing my head to smash into the windshield and cause another circle-like crack.

OK, just kidding about the whole "head hitting the windshield" thing.

But the garage door?

Definitely not working.

Have I told you that I don't carry keys to my house?


The smart thing to do would have been to stop the car, park the car, and get out and go through the front door.

Ha! You should know I'm not that smart.

Oh, not me.

I called my husband - from the driveway - and bitched at the top of my lungs about how I TOLD him the garage door opener was going and could he PLEASE get someone over here to fix or replace it or SOMETHING??????

The garage door works now. It's amazing how much having a meltdown in the driveway suddenly makes a husband want to

fix it,

fix it,

FIX IT!!!!!

Anything to get the screaming to stop.

Later, I looked at our family computer and wondered why I couldn't turn it on.

Or off.

Or anything.


It died.

With five years worth of pictures of my kids embedded in the hard drive.


Which leads us to Father's Day, when I decided to put a stick of butter in the microwave to soften up for the corn on the cob.

I hit "start".

The microwave exploded.

Well, that's what it sounded like.

Everyone in the room ducked.

Then we looked to see if anyone was injured.

Then, we played TAPS.

Our beloved Microwave was dead.

Sydney made a sign.

In case I forgot that the most important appliance in our house (in my world anyway) was gone.....

I am now "Queen look at me, touch me, talk about me or think about me and I will break"

Brian and the kids are keeping their distance.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Rehearsals, Recitals and Dads....

I am lucky enough to have two girls that dance.

I love to watch them.

I cry every time.

I'm kind of a sap.

But my babies take my breath away.....

We had the second recital this weekend. Our week leading up to the recital was filled with rehearsals. Since we've never experienced a recital for this studio, we weren't sure what to expect. Their procedures are different than we are used to - it's not as structured, not as professional and the studio has about 1/5 of the students of the regular studio the girls have attended since 2003.

The recital was on Sunday.

They didn't disappoint.

My kids were amazing. Again.

Liv - doing her hip-hop routine to "Jump" by Kriss Kross

(How sad that I remember that song from my younger days.....)

She was "wiggity-wiggity-wiggity WHACK!"

OK, that was a bit corny. Sorry.

Sydney, especially, really rocked the house.

Tapping to "Do you Love me?"

The drawback of this was that Brian and my dad had to spend their Father's Day sitting in a stuffy theater, watching a very looooong dance recital.

But, Brian's such a great dad that he didn't complain.

Not once.

He even helped my brother cook the Father's Day feast on the grill.

I love that man.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Studied for weeks....

Lost lots of sleep.....

Stressed beyond belief.....

Only got one shot under the old rules......

Spent the day before in the ER with my little one.......(more on that later)



I am now a LEED AP.

Holy Crap, I did it.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Can I blame it on Queen Elizabeth I?

Well, holy crap.

It's been a while since my last post! Uh....Sorry?

It's Queen Elizabeth's fault.

OK, it's not - obviously.

The woman's been dead for 500 years.

I've been studying, studying, studying!!! It's not going well. Sigh.

But, Queen Elizabeth has been a distraction......

Olivia had a big presentation at school. They had to read a biography about a character and then present an oral book report - in character.

Which, of course, means a costume.

Um. I don't sew.

But thank God my mom does!!

Although Olivia had read her book and prepared her presentation weeks before it was due, we still needed a costume! So, I bought some cheap ass material and a crown, and we raided Mimi's costume jewelry.

Of course, I forgot about the whole thing (I pick up my mother of the year award next week, in case you were wondering), so at the last minute, we ran down to Mimi's and she frantically sewed something up.

Recognize the top? It's Liv's ballerina tutu from her recital. The tutu was perfect to drape the material over.....

Mimi sewed through her finger.

Yes. You read that right.

Poppy had to get the needle out with pliers.

I almost passed out.

But I couldn't, because then who would hold mom up?

She was white as a ghost and clammy. It wasn't good.

But mom was a trooper, slapped on a band-aid and finished the job!!

Olivia blew everyone away.

She got 100%.

Her highness, Queen Olivia.

My kid is so cool.