Weekday mornings are the WORST around here. I mean, really BAD. Brian gets up and leaves the house around 7:15 a.m. or so and the girls don't catch the bus until around 8:05-8:10. Now, keep in mind my girls aren't really "morning" people. Not during the week anyway (much like their mommy).
This is our story....
6:45 Brian wakes me up. Brian wakes up the girls.
6:55 Brian wakes me up again. Brian wakes up the girls again.
7:05 Brian threatens to pull the covers off and roll my lazy ass out of bed if I don't get up. The real motivation comes when he tells me he won't leave me any coffee unless I get up. NOW.
7:10 Begin calling for the girls to come down and get their breakfast.
7:12 Brian calls up to the girls that he's leaving.
7:13 What sounds like a herd of elephants comes bounding down the stairs and runs to the window to wave good bye to daddy.
7:14 The girls begin fighting over the prime spot at the window. I'm on my second cup of coffee.
7:15 Sydney cries because daddy didn't wave to her. He did, however, wave to her sister who happened to be standing right next to her at the window. Go figure.
7:16 Breakfast is served. I usually make a nice, hot breakfast of homemade pancakes or scrambled eggs with toast and juice. I do this while standing in the kitchen in my apron wearing my pearls and a sunny smile.
7:16 In the real world, breakfast is served. Pop-Tarts or cereal - with milk, if we have it.
7:18 I explain to Sydney that yes, they are packing their lunch today, because I am not made of money.
7:19 I explain to Olivia that No, I don't care whether she eats what I pack her or not, she's not buying lunch.
7:21 I finish packing lunches.
7:22 I begin telling the girls to get a move on and finish up soon.
7:23 I tell the girls that I'm going to get a shower and they better be done with breakfast, and be dressed when I get out.
7:24 I pick out their clothes for the day and hop in the shower.
7:26 I hear a huge "THUMP" somewhere. I have soap in my hair and no one's screaming. So I rinse.
7:27 Sydney comes into the bathroom to ask whether her orange flip flops will match the jeans and sweater I have picked out. I tell her I don't think so since it's only 40 degrees outside and since when is she allowed to wear flip flops to school in ANY weather?
7:27 The bathroom door slams and Sydney stomps away yelling about how unfair her life is.
7:28 Liv comes into the bathroom to scream about how disgusting her sister is and how Sydney got toothpaste all over the place and made a huge mess and Olivia just can't be around her because she is GROSS. Sydney screams in the background that she did it on "accident".
7:28 The bathroom door slams again.
7:29 Sydney comes into the bathroom to tell me that Olivia hit/kicked/slapped/pinched her.
7:29 The bathroom door slams again.
7:30 I hear the girls screaming at each other and a lot of banging.
7:31 I now have a headache. Have you ever tried to yell at your children who were two rooms away while you were in the shower? Very loud. Not good for the ears - or the head.
7:32 I'm out of the shower. I discover the girls aren't dressed, their teeth aren't brushed and they are still arguing.
7:33 I drip into the hallway and tell Sydney to finish brushing her teeth and tell Liv to get dressed.
7:34 There are several comments shouted from the bathroom to Liv's room and vice-versa, which are not very nice.
7:35 I go back into the hallway and tell Sydney to now go get dressed and Liv to now go brush her teeth.
7:37 Sydney has decided she doesn't like the shirt I picked out and has ventured to the laundry room to dig through the baskets for something that suits her fancy.
7:38 Olivia is complaining that she doesn't have ANY clothes and she can't wear what I picked out because everyone will laugh at her. She can't explain why.
7:39 A new outfit for Olivia is chosen and she finally gets dressed.
7:41 I yell for the girls to grab whatever they want in their hair and bring a brush.
7:42 Olivia shows up with my hairbrush, which she got from my purse. I am still not dressed and my hair has only been dried half way.
7:43 Olivia's hair is done. She doesn't like it and proceeds to take it out.
7:44 I call for Sydney again.
7:45 I'm now halfway dressed. But I can't find my shoes.
7:46 WHERE IS SYDNEY???
7:47 Sydney shows up. In her underwear. She can't find the shirt she's been looking for. I try to count to ten. I make it to six before I start yelling. Sydney runs from the room to get dressed in what I picked out.
7:48 Sydney is now dressed.
(are you exhausted yet?)
7:50 I ask Liv to please go let the dogs out. She rolls her eyes and sighs heavily and complains that she ALWAYS has to let the dogs out. I tell her to get over it.
7:52 WHERE IS SYDNEY!!!!!
7:53 I go downstairs and find Sydney in the downstairs bathroom riffling through the drawers looking for her barrette and singing to herself in the mirror. This time I only make it to four.
7:54 Sydney's hair is hair is done and she is crying. I probably shouldn't do their hair when I'm frustrated.
7:55 I find my shoes. But the girls can't find theirs. Olivia reminds me that we now only have ten minutes until the bus comes. I remind her that her hair still isn't done.
7:56 I give the girls 2 seconds to get shoes on. ANY shoes.
7:57 Sydney comes down in her orange flip flops. I don't even bother to count.
7:58 Sydney has gone back upstairs to get real shoes. Olivia is in the bathroom re-doing her hair.
7:59 Olivia comes out of the bathroom and I take one look at her and tell her there is NO WAY she's going to school with her hair like that. She stomps off to try again.
8:00 GET YOUR BOOKBAGS AND YOUR LUNCHBOXES AND GET IN THE CAR!
8:01 Olivia begins to panic because her hair isn't done, which means she has to start over.
8:02 I call to Sydney to let the dogs in. She apparently feels that she has to do EVERYTHING for me and that I need to start doing things myself.
8:03 Olivia's hair is now done and acceptable and she begins telling me that if we don't hurry up, we'll miss the bus. The irony is lost on her.
8:05 We jump in the car and race up the road to the bus stop, just in time to see the bus pull up - on a good day.
9:00 I get to work and walk into my office and discover, upon looking in the mirror, that I have no make-up on.