Thursday, August 20, 2009

Take what you can get, when you can get it

I've looked back over my blog for the past several weeks. I realized that I really was lax in keeping up with it.

And I felt guilty.

For half a second.

Then I thought about this summer. It was the first summer in a very long time that I wasn't in school. That I threw my schedule out the window. You see. when I'm in school, I'm very regimented. I'm very schedule oriented. I thrive on that.
When it goes away, and I'm not pressed for time? Life gets even more chaotic. I can't explain it. But not having classes, homework, exams - PRESSURES - this summer, has been ...liberating.

I took an entire week off to do NOTHING.

I've never done that. Ever.

I can honestly say that, even though we didn't go on a week long family vacation, this summer has been so much better than I ever imagined. I spent time with my kids. I hung out with my hubby. I almost feel like, even though EVERY WEEKEND we had something happening, we kind of folded in on ourselves and just made a little cocoon where the 4 of us were together.

It was actually....wonderful.

When a friend would call - at the last minute - and say "Hey - come play at the pool" - we did.

When there was nothing in the fridge for dinner, and neither of us felt like cooking - we went out.

I didn't think about the fact that I only had so many hours in the day, the week, the month, to get things done.

So I didn't get all the laundry done on Saturdays.

So the house didn't get cleaned.

Who cares?

We played at the pool. Or went out with friends. Or simply sat and relaxed.

It was - heavenly.

Don't get me wrong, as wonderful as these past two months were, I need the time crunch, I need the stress, I need the order.

But it was nice to have a break.

And now it's coming to an end. The girls start school on Monday. I start Wednesday. I'm already having panic attacks about the fact that the school shopping isn't done, the house isn't as neat as I want it, their drawers and closets haven't been culled and old clothes boxed up, their shirts and shoes and pants arranged and folded or hung in perfect order.

The girls started cheerleading - three times a week for 2 hours a night. I have to get them there. Then I have to get them home. And they have to have their cheerleading clothes washed, dried and ready to go. They have to have dinner before they go, bottles of water to take with them, and oh, did I mention we both work full time?

So today I had a mini meltdown (in my head) about how can we possibly keep up with it all and still be sane, and still work, go to school, be a family, function....when I walked into the house.
The girls had left it a mess.

There was no dinner prepared.

There was no dinner even contemplated.

Laundry was piled.

I felt defeated before I even got through the door.

But, then I noticed - it was quiet.

The babysitter had fed the girls and taken them to cheerleading practice.

Brian stood in the kitchen looking at me.

It was 6:00, and I had to pickup the girls in an hour and a half.

We both smiled .

Then we walked upstairs.

Who cares about laundry? Who cares about dinner? Who cares about clutter?

If the two of us don't function as a couple, as a team, the rest just falls apart.

And sometimes, you just have to take what you can get when you can get it.

And you enjoy it.

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