Oh, for the love of.....

...everything that is good and holy in this world!!!

I know I have a lot on my mind. I know I have a lot going on. I KNOW things are falling through the cracks.

But, really. Does it need to be pointed out in such a public manner? And to a member of my immediate FAMILY????

So, my day started with me, getting ready to hop in the shower after waking from the sleep of the dead, feeling like crap, repeating the mantra of "only two more days until the weekend", when the phone rings.

It's Brian. Who left the house 10 minutes before the call. Who never calls me during the day unless:

A) He forgot his glasses/lunch
B) He's giving me a traffic update and telling me NOT to go down the interstate to work because he's stuck in a back up and if the County would just STOP building houses and realize that we have traffic problems, yadda, yadda, yadda (Um, HellllOOOOO? Real Estate Development here - it's my business and it's what I'm going to school for? Don't bite the hand that feeds you Bucko!!)
C) It's an emergency

We aren't "Hey, how you doing? Miss you, Love you" kind of people. I'm working, he's working, I'm busy, he's busy, and frankly, if I have to call my husband ten times a day (or vice-versa) to tell him something that I could just as EASILY tell him when I see him in eight hours, then something's wrong. I'd think he was checking up on me or something. And that would just piss me off. I'd rather talk to face to face anyway.

Anyway, back to the call. I saw him grab his lunch, he was wearing his glasses when he left, I've been watching the traffic on TV, so I know there's nothing out of the ordinary there. So that leaves only one thing - yup, that's right, some kind of emergency.

"Hello?"

"Debbie." (should have been my first clue - he only calls me by my name when he's pissed off at me. Usually it's "Honey" or "Baby")

"Yeah? What's wrong"

"Oh, nothing. So, is there a chance you forgot to pay some bills last month?"

Long silence while I rack my brain trying to figure out where he's going with this - and whether or not I did, in fact, forget something)

"Um, I don't think so? Why? What's going on Brian?" (panic slowly creeping into my voice)

"Oh, nothing much. Just that I'm sitting on the road in front of work, waiting for the TICKET THAT THE COP IS WRITING ME BECAUSE MY TAGS EXPIRED LAST MONTH AND APPARENTLY WERE NOT RENEWED BECAUSE YOU FORGOT TO DO IT!!!" (Brians' voice rising, Debbie panicking on the other end of the phone line).

"UH..... " (again frantically trying to remember if I even SAW an envelope from the MVA and if we had a conversation about it...)

"So, now I guess I'll get a ticket, hope they don't impound the car because the TAGS ARE DEAD and then go to work and yell at all the guys who are standing out front TAKING MY PICTURE WHILE THE COP MAKES ME GET OUT OF THE CAR AND TALK TO ME BECAUSE I GOT STOPPED RIGHT IN FRONT AND EVERYONE CAN SEE WHAT'S GOING ON".

Oh. Well, shit. Quick - "Go on the defensive!" my brain screams to me.

"Well, I don't remember seeing anything from the MVA and I don't remember you telling me to pay it or even mentioning it to me and quite frankly I can't keep track of EVERYTHING and it's your F$^(%ing car, so why is this my fault? If you want to talk about how I can't do anything right...."

"Gotta go - the cop is coming to BRING ME MY TICKET"

Click.

I hop in the shower. Steaming over this. Crying because I feel like things are spinning out of control and yeah, I probably did forget! Take a mental inventory of all other bills, breathe a sigh of relief when I remember paying them (and checking when I get out of the shower to confirm that) and then just get pissed.


And then the phone rings again. Guess who?

"Well, there's good news and bad news. The good news is, since it happened right in front of work, I didn't have far to walk. The bad news is, we have to pay to get my car out of the impound lot."

I sit in stunned silence. All this because I forgot to renew the tags? and everyone at Brian's work knows how stupid I am because they watched it all unfold right before their very eyes?

I will never live this down. Never.

"But...but..they can't..just because? I mean seriously..they couldn't..."

"Nah. Only kidding. Got a ticket, I'll renew the tags today. It's all good."

Yeah, it's good. I'm just going to freaking smack you when I see you this evening, loving husband of mine.

"But, honey? You're going to pay for this one." And then he starts laughing like some maniacal character from a horror movie and I know EXACTLY what he has in mind.

Oh but, no my love. After the hell you just put me through? You will pay.

Let the battle of the wills begin.