Thursday, August 21, 2008

There I was, driving along, minding my own business....

It was such a beautiful day yesterday. I was driving home, about 5:30 along some country roads in a pretty little farming community. I had the radio up loud, singing my heart out and scaring the cows, enjoying the sunshine, the 80 degree/low humidity/nice breeze weather with all my front windows down and the sun roof open all the way, when all of a sudden......

I see something come flying in the sunroof - I duck and then I hear

smack, buzz, buzz, smack, smack, buzz, smack

and some distant screaming (which, it turns out, was me).

Something smacked me in the head and all I know is that it was the size of a very large hummingbird, with big wings and some big protruding pointy thing that looked like it would hurt if it touched you and it was buzzing around my car smacking into everything, getting more pissed off by the second, and making very angry buzzing noises. At this point I was screaming my lungs out and driving like a maniac in my attempts to avoid this thing flying around my car since I'm sure it would have eaten me - or at the very least maimed me for life - had it gotten close and I couldn't pull over (two lane country road - no shoulder, very hilly). Rather than taking a deep breath, opening all the car windows and slowing down so it could find it's way out, I decided that the best course of action was to drive as fast as possible and just keep ducking my head whenever it got close to me. I also decided that screaming was completely acceptable and that I should continue with that as well.

Probably, the gentleman in the car behind me thought I was having a seizure. Probably, he should have called the police to come get me off the road as I was a danger not only to myself, but also to every man, woman and cow in the immediate area. But, I'm thinking he didn't want to get involved with some deranged lunatic driving like a mad woman down the road, so he just sat back and enjoyed the show.

The gigantic bug from hell somehow made its way back out of the sunroof and I was able to stop screaming, and start driving like a semi-normal person again. Until the empty Doritos bag in the back seat began making some noise flapping around in the wind. It's a good thing I have leather seats. They clean up nicely.

1 comment:

Mrs.C said...

I have done this very same thing. Yes, screaming is acceptable, if not manditory in such a situation. I'm often reminded of the movie, Tommy Boy, when Chris Farley and David Spade come flying out of the car shouting "wild bees, wild bees!". . . again, been there done that. I'm not above embarrassing myself if it means not being stung. ;-)