Gulp.

I just got my student loan statement.

Apparently they would like to be paid back beginning in July.

Which would be fine, if I had an extra $400+ laying around every month, but, um, I don't.

And I have to pay them for the next ten years (YIKES!!)

I almost vomited.

I'm serious.

So, I am going to get a second job.
Just a little one - like teaching a few classes at the local community college or bartending a few nights a month.

What else was I going to do with all the free time I'll have after May? Ha!

This only reinforces my decision that no matter what - come hell or high water - my two girls will not have to worry about how to pay for their education.

I will not allow them to start their adult lives and professional careers with tens of thousands of dollars of debt that they will have to pay back for their first ten or more years out of college.

I'll do whatever is necessary to make sure they get their education debt free.

I have eight years. If I work hard, I should have my loans paid off just in time for me to start making payments on Olivia's, should that be necessary. It's a small price to pay to make sure my girls get a good education and don't make decisions they will later regret because of the inability to pay for school, the inability to pay back loans or by taking a job (or jobs) to pay off the debt they incurred to gain a college degree.

And as much as I appreciate my degree and the hard work I've put into it and maybe, just maybe, I got a little more out of it than some of my peers because I was an adult student, with a career and a family, I also know that I sacrificed a lot of time with my babies and my husband over the last 10+ years. I don't want my girls to experience the same guilt I have for spending so much time on school after being at work all day. But that's the only way I could afford it.

I don't want that for them.

I want them to to go to college, experience college, spend a semester in Europe, experience life and decide where to go from there.

When they have families, I want them to enjoy them, not worry about taking money away from their babies to pay for classes or feel horrible for not spending enough time with their children because of homework, or a paper, or a project, or sacrifice family vacations for tuition.......

I did all that for my Bachelor's Degree. But I didn't have any debt.

Unfortunately, I couldn't afford the hefty tuition for my Graduate degree, so I paid for it all with loans.

Once again, I'm taking money that would otherwise support our family and using it pay loans for MY education.

I can only hope that someday it will be worth it.

And this concludes our pity party for the day. We will be back to our regularly scheduled prgram along with an update on the bathroom (finally!) tomorrow.

Thank you.