Thursday, September 10, 2009


There was a time when I was comfortable. When I had few worries. I worked very hard to reach that point in my life. I grew tired of living paycheck to paycheck, and I worked and he worked, and we saved, and we worked harder, all so we didn't lie awake at night worrying, wondering, fretting, tossing and turning.

We grew accustomed to bills being paid with no thought whatsoever. They were paid, it didn't really affect us, we saved a lot, we were able to pay cash for most everything...we were in the position that we should have been in as thirty-somethings - finally getting ahead in life and preparing for the future. Preparing for our children's future. Actually taking the time to enjoy life rather than worry our way through it.

We've taken 10 steps back. All that progress is gone.

Things change. I know that. Life intervenes. Choices are made and they seem like the right choices at the time. The economy is horrible, layoffs are occurring left and right and most people are just trying to survive. The job market is non-existent and, in my industry anyway, shows no real signs of improving for the next few years. Opportunity is non-existent.

So, here I sit. All this experience, a Master's degree in May 2010, and nothing to show for it.

Except a shit load of debt, which I have to start paying back.

I don't really want to have start over again, unless I start with a clean slate. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to sell everything you own, move somewhere new or somewhere exotic with your family and just start over?

That's where I am. I used to enjoy life a lot more than I do now. Not because I was wasteful or careless. But because I knew I could handle whatever came my way. There was always a solution.

But now, I feel defeated. Something just has to give. A door needs to open.

Or we will soon have some tough, life changing decisions in front of us.

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