Thursday, July 17, 2008

SIGH....

I miss my babies.

They are off having a grand ole' time with their grandparents and I will pick them back up on Saturday. I always have these big plans to get so much done when they are gone. I try to squeeze everything into a week - catching up with old friends, hanging out with the hubby, getting all the laundry done and caught up, completing some long ago forgotten project......

But, I never do. Instead I find myself wandering the house at night, trying to figure out what to get into and ultimately accomplishing nothing. As I walk by the play room or their bedrooms I unconsciously look in to see what they are doing, only to see that the rooms are empty. I miss kissing them good night and trying to beat Olivia in saying "I love you more than the moon and the stars!" (it's a nightly contest between us) and listening to Sydney tell me that she loves me more than the moon and the stars AND the sun AND the clouds. Sisters - always trying to "one up" each other.

The first night they were away, they called us and we were at dinner with Judi and Ted. I walked outside to call them back and spoke to Sydney. She asked me why I didn't answer when they called and I told her we were at a restaurant with Gamma Judi and Mister and that I had to excuse myself and step outside to call them back. Now, every night when we talk to her she asks: "Are you at a restaurant?". My in-laws probably think we go out to eat every night! =)

We talk to them every day and the first thing they both say is "I miss you Mommy" and "I love you". Sydney's a little sad, but she's easily distracted. But Olivia - it breaks my heart when Olivia's little voice quavers as she tells me she misses me. Homesickness....I remember it well. Liv is not one for grand displays of emotion (unless it's a temper tantrum or "attitude"). For some reason, my girl is very reserved for the most part. She keeps her emotions to herself and I don't neccessarily think that's a good thing. But when she gets that look on her face and gets really quiet and tries to stop herself from crying or showing anyone that she's sad, I can see her heart breaking and it makes me want to bawl. And when I hear her voice on the phone, all of that emotion she's trying to hold back rings through loud and clear in just a few words - "Mommy, are you coming to get us soon?"

Anyway, I was just feeling a little blue about not having my babies with me this week. It's good for them to spend time with Brian's parents, and it's a nice break for us. And oh, how it makes me appreciate them and love them even more than I already do. I didn't think it was possible, but when we aren't together, the love I have for my daughters and the longing to be with them bubbles to the surface so quick - it's almost a physical reaction.

I can't wait to see them on Saturday and kiss them and hug them and hold them and kiss them and hug them and then hug them even harder. I'm sure I miss them more than they miss me.

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