Monday, October 13, 2008

I miss my Brian....

Not that he's gone anywhere. We've just been "off" lately.

Between the kids, the kids's activities, work (for both of us), school (for me), colds (for him and the girls) and life in general, it feels like we're living two separate existences.

Does that make any sense?

Our timing is off. In a big way.

Usually, when this happens (and it does - life intervenes and the next thing you know, it's three weeks since you've had a meaningful conversation with the one you love) I plan a night that we can get some alone time. Where we can go out (which typically turns into - let's just stay home and enjoy the quiet - the no obligations - the alone time) and are able to talk and cuddle and....

You get the picture.

But, between mid-term exams, projects for school, our work schedules, him feeling "yucky" and everything else, I simply don't have the energy to plan anything.

Anyway, it's been a long time since we've had 24 uninterrupted hours together with no work, no kids, no...nothing.

Our tenth anniversary came and went with no fanfare, no celebration, and not even a night alone. And actually, that was fine for us. I didn't need to go out and have dinner somewhere. I didn't need anything but him. And I have him. For the rest of my life. Lucky girl =)

We had always said we would go away for our tenth anniversary. We even tossed around a few ideas. But we're trying to save money and tighten our belts, so we didn't do it. Maybe part of this is, we didn't even get a vacation this summer. That and a weekend away somewhere through the year usually recharges us.

Our batteries are low people. Low.

When we were younger, had no money, were struggling to make ends meet and were new parents, we couldn't afford to do anything - and I mean ANYTHING. A night out would blow the monthly budget.

So, we'd pack Olivia off to the grandparents, come home, lay blankets on the floor of the family room, turn out the lights, light some candles, turn on some music (usually Led Zeppelin - Brian's a huge fan and I love the bluesy, slower stuff), grab a bottle of wine or whatever and just lay on the family room floor and talk and giggle and enjoy each other, all while lamenting the fact that we were too poor to go out to dinner - or anywhere else.

Now, we can afford to go out, even (as money conscious as we are) go away for a weekend alone.

But all I want to do is to pull out the blankets, the pillows and Led Zeppelin and lay on the floor, listen to music and hang out with my man.

Is that too much to ask?

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